The Great Jagr Bobblehead Escapade: Now in Extra Large!
Gather 'round for the latest chapter in the thrilling saga of Pittsburgh Penguins memorabilia: the debut of the colossal, the mammoth, the absolutely unnecessary 6-foot-tall Jaromir Jagr bobblehead. Because, as we all know, in the realm of sports collectibles, size does indeed matter.
Just when you thought the Jagr bobblehead tale had reached its peak absurdity with the heist of 19,000 miniature nodders, the Penguins decided to go big or go home.
Enter the six-foot behemoth, nodding its oversized head as if to say, "Yes, this is really happening." And oh, how magnificently it nods, likely causing seismic tremors detectable at nearby seismic stations.
One can't help but marvel at the timing.
After the grand larceny of the smaller bobbles (bobs, nodders?), one would think the Penguins might scale back. But no, they doubled down, literally in size, unveiling a bobblehead that might just have its own gravitational pull. It’s so big, it probably has its own ZIP code and weather system.
One look at this giant and you can’t help but think, "Is this a tribute or a challenge to potential thieves? A game of 'steal me if you can'?"
The logistics alone boggle the mind.
Where does one even display such a gargantuan nodder? It won’t fit on your average shelf; this is a bobblehead that demands its own real estate, possibly a small plot of land or a dedicated wing in your house.
And the shipping? Let’s not even go there. The last time the Penguins tried shipping Jagr bobbleheads, it turned into a caper worthy of a heist movie, complete with fake paperwork and a "special cargo recovery team" that sounds suspiciously like the Penguins’ own version of "Ocean's Eleven."
Did we really get a six-foot-tall @68Jagr bobblehead?
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 10, 2024
Yes... Yes, we did. pic.twitter.com/9giHJBOeUu
We assume this one is not for sale, but to honor Jagr and the amazing recovery effort to find and secure the sought after bobbleheads.
As for security, one has to wonder if this oversized Jagr will be guarded like the crown jewels, given its potential allure for those with a penchant for pilfering Penguins paraphernalia (we're looking at you California freight thieves). Or perhaps its sheer size is deterrent enough, unless would-be thieves have a forklift and an oversized sense of adventure.
For the fans, the intrigue continues.
While the 19,000 smaller versions have been safely recovered, they now face the ultimate question: Do we also get a shot at the giant? Imagine the selfies, the social media buzz, the sheer bragging rights of having a life-size Jagr bobblehead in your backyard.
A Yinzer can dream, right?
In the end, this towering tribute to Jaromir Jagr is more than just a collectible and while you might not be able to take this giant home, its legacy will bobble on in the hearts of Penguins fans forever, nodding in solemn agreement that in Pittsburgh, bigger is always, indisputably better.
And just like #68 himself, the giant Jagr bobblehead and it's mini friends, belong in Pittsburgh.