Big news yesterday from Nutting and Friends: The Pittsburgh Pirates unveiled six brandy-new refreshment items at PNC Park to debut summer.
As a public service, oneBURGH decided to get into the review game (obviously). Indeed, our staff will name and review each item based ONLY on the picture.
First up: Pirate Parrot Purge Mask with Cotton Candy Afro.*
Review:
Raise your jolly blood sugar level to 250 mg/dL or higher with this cotton candy. Enjoy it all at the ballpark or take it home with this mask that you can wear if there’s a government mandated Purge.
Overall? We want this. Not as bad as we want to make the Skener Weiner at thing...But yes, we want one.
We would also be remiss if we didn't mention that if you look carefully in the background of Pirate Parrot Purge Mask with Cotton Candy Afro (like oneBURGH member Zane did) you will see that it is...Philadelphia's ballpark <womp, womp>. C'mon Pirates! Get it together!
*Trademark pending.